four months now
that's how old you are
and every day is a new beginning

my son
i love you more than i thought possible
your happiness is my obsession
i know i spoil you
but right now
it's worth it

my feelings of fear have receded
into the murky gray of my subconscious
i know it's still there
when i read about young troublemakers
and remember my turbulent teenage years
these moments reach me quietly
an almost numb buzzing in my soul
and i am quietly scared again
what if i don't do...
will i make a mistake...

it's so easy to fall under tomorrow's spell
especially since everything i do is for the comfort of the future
your comfort in the future
this dangerous passage that i am trailing
leads my heart either to goodness and life
or mysterious shadows of possibilities
that may not always be what i'd like

but i fight every day
to keep tomorrow painted bright
so that i will not live in regrets
so that you will not see that in me
because my son
although you only have one life to live
you have many chances to make it right
and that is a fact hat can easily be forgotten

hope is what makes tomorrow bright